A reflexive moment

It had to come, this moment when I'd feel a bit overwhelmed, in need of guidance. Overwhelmed by the amount of information I have to deal with.

It's a bit hard to take some distance from everything, to see what's "out of the ordinary". What's normal to me is that people live differently in different parts of the world. Sometimes it seems we have a hard time accepting that.

What drew me here in the first place are the people. They are so friendly and in a good mood, always eager to talk to you and find out who you are, what you're thinking.

I've had the opportunity to visit many Balkan homes- in Bosnia, in Kosovo and Macedonia. The table is always full of fresh, delicious homemade food.

Orthodox Christians have a tradition called "Slava". Every family has their "home holiday" during which they invite close friends and family for dinner. Every guest is offered a spoon of this simple, delicious cereal cake when he sits at the table. People greet each other saying "zdravo". Everyone is talking and laughing between having some sarma (meat wrapped in vine leaves), paprika (marinated pepper), many different salads and cheeses, meat and bread.

For me, it feels exceptional because my family in Montreal is very small and big gatherings like that are extremely rare.

I feel privileged to experience being hosted by the locals. It makes me see how most people long for peace, comfort and love. Politics are secondary in these moments, yet they affect people's lives on a daily basis. I'm not exactly sure how to explain that statement.

I came here to write positive stories, because I want to believe that people are good. Aren't we? Don't we wake up in the morning wanting to provide for our families, to build a better future?

It seems that internationals, at least the Canadians I've met, truly come here to build better societies. But of course, not everybody thinks highly of the internationals.

During some informal conversations with local acquaintances, I've heard that international organizations are not always useful. Of course, I know money is often wasted...

I regret not having spoken to more Serbians in Kosovo. Although I don't have many on-the-record statements proving it, I know that they have suffered greatly as a result of the issue.

Kosovo is a cultural and historical land for Serbia, the home of its first monasteries and traditions and I know that losing this land is unacceptable for its people.

But how do you find a compromise between the past and the present? After all, they have lost the battle of Kosovo Polje more then seven centuries ago, and today, there are not many Serbians left there. One woman asked me: is it fair for a nation to have three countries? She was referring to Albania, Macedonia (about one third of its population is Albanian) and soon Kosovo.

I really didn't know what to say. If you dig deeper, you can see that there is much resentment in people's hearts. I certainly couldn't find a solution to this puzzle.